diff --git a/src/d_clisrv.c b/src/d_clisrv.c
index bd138957b..602566982 100644
--- a/src/d_clisrv.c
+++ b/src/d_clisrv.c
@@ -48,6 +48,9 @@
 #include "md5.h"
 #include "m_perfstats.h"
 
+// aaaaaa
+#include "i_joy.h"
+
 #ifndef NONET
 // cl loading screen
 #include "v_video.h"
@@ -650,6 +653,22 @@ static UINT8 Snake_GetOppositeDir(UINT8 dir)
 		return 12 + 5 - dir;
 }
 
+event_t *snakejoyevents[MAXEVENTS];
+UINT16 joyeventcount = 0;
+
+// I'm screaming the hack is clean - ashi
+static boolean Snake_Joy_Grabber(event_t *ev)
+{
+	if (ev->type == ev_joystick  && ev->key == 0)
+	{
+		snakejoyevents[joyeventcount] = ev;
+		joyeventcount++;
+		return true;
+	}
+	else
+		return false;
+}
+
 static void Snake_FindFreeSlot(UINT8 *freex, UINT8 *freey, UINT8 headx, UINT8 heady)
 {
 	UINT8 x, y;
@@ -676,6 +695,9 @@ static void Snake_Handle(void)
 	UINT8 x, y;
 	UINT8 oldx, oldy;
 	UINT16 i;
+	UINT16 j;
+	UINT16 joystate = 0;
+	static INT32 pjoyx = 0, pjoyy = 0;
 
 	// Handle retry
 	if (snake->gameover && (PLAYER1INPUTDOWN(GC_JUMP) || gamekeydown[KEY_ENTER]))
@@ -704,23 +726,57 @@ static void Snake_Handle(void)
 	oldx = snake->snakex[1];
 	oldy = snake->snakey[1];
 
+	// process the input events in here dear lord
+	for (j = 0; j < joyeventcount; j++)
+	{
+		event_t *ev = snakejoyevents[j];
+		const INT32 jdeadzone = (JOYAXISRANGE * cv_digitaldeadzone.value) / FRACUNIT;
+		if (ev->y != INT32_MAX)
+		{
+			if (Joystick.bGamepadStyle || abs(ev->y) > jdeadzone)
+			{
+				if (ev->y < 0 && pjoyy >= 0)
+					joystate = 1;
+				else if (ev->y > 0 && pjoyy <= 0)
+					joystate = 2;
+				pjoyy = ev->y;
+			}
+			else
+				pjoyy = 0;
+		}
+
+		if (ev->x != INT32_MAX)
+		{
+			if (Joystick.bGamepadStyle || abs(ev->x) > jdeadzone)
+			{
+				if (ev->x < 0 && pjoyx >= 0)
+					joystate = 3;
+				else if (ev->x > 0 && pjoyx <= 0)
+					joystate = 4;
+				pjoyx = ev->x;
+			}
+			else
+				pjoyx = 0;
+		}
+	}
+
 	// Update direction
-	if (PLAYER1INPUTDOWN(GC_STRAFELEFT) || gamekeydown[KEY_LEFTARROW] || JoyAxis(JA_STRAFE) > 0)
+	if (PLAYER1INPUTDOWN(GC_STRAFELEFT) || gamekeydown[KEY_LEFTARROW] || joystate == 3)
 	{
 		if (snake->snakelength < 2 || x <= oldx)
 			snake->snakedir[0] = 1;
 	}
-	else if (PLAYER1INPUTDOWN(GC_STRAFERIGHT) || gamekeydown[KEY_RIGHTARROW] || JoyAxis(JA_STRAFE) < 0)
+	else if (PLAYER1INPUTDOWN(GC_STRAFERIGHT) || gamekeydown[KEY_RIGHTARROW] || joystate == 4)
 	{
 		if (snake->snakelength < 2 || x >= oldx)
 			snake->snakedir[0] = 2;
 	}
-	else if (PLAYER1INPUTDOWN(GC_FORWARD) || gamekeydown[KEY_UPARROW] || JoyAxis(JA_MOVE) > 0)
+	else if (PLAYER1INPUTDOWN(GC_FORWARD) || gamekeydown[KEY_UPARROW] || joystate == 1)
 	{
 		if (snake->snakelength < 2 || y <= oldy)
 			snake->snakedir[0] = 3;
 	}
-	else if (PLAYER1INPUTDOWN(GC_BACKWARD) || gamekeydown[KEY_DOWNARROW] || JoyAxis(JA_MOVE) < 0)
+	else if (PLAYER1INPUTDOWN(GC_BACKWARD) || gamekeydown[KEY_DOWNARROW] || joystate == 2)
 	{
 		if (snake->snakelength < 2 || y >= oldy)
 			snake->snakedir[0] = 4;
@@ -2073,7 +2129,7 @@ static boolean CL_FinishedFileList(void)
 				"Download of %s additional content\nis required to join.\n"
 				"\n"
 				"Press ENTER to continue\nor ESC to cancel.\n"
-			), "1111"), M_ConfirmConnect, MM_EVENTHANDLER);
+			), downloadsize), M_ConfirmConnect, MM_EVENTHANDLER);
 
 		Z_Free(downloadsize);
 		cl_mode = CL_CONFIRMCONNECT;
@@ -2380,8 +2436,12 @@ static boolean CL_ServerConnectionTicker(const char *tmpsave, tic_t *oldtic, tic
 			D_ProcessEvents(); //needed for menu system to receive inputs
 		else
 		{
+			// my hand has been forced and I am dearly sorry for this awful hack :vomit:
 			for (; eventtail != eventhead; eventtail = (eventtail+1) & (MAXEVENTS-1))
-				G_MapEventsToControls(&events[eventtail]);
+			{
+				if (!Snake_Joy_Grabber(&events[eventtail]))
+					G_MapEventsToControls(&events[eventtail]);
+			}
 		}
 
 		if (gamekeydown[KEY_ESCAPE] || gamekeydown[KEY_JOY1+1] || cl_mode == CL_ABORTED)